I confess before You, O Lord, that I ought to have changed
my trend of writing. I confess-in shame-that I often talked to
people about virtue but little did I talk to them about You,
though You are all in all...
However, to be able to talk about You, I have to know
You.. But how can I attain to this knowledge, being a limited
man, and You the unlimited God! And further how can I know
You, while You are incomprehensible and inconceivable; You
are the light that cannot be approached and no human being can
see You and remain alive!..
I tried to ask about You from Your holy people who knew
You well or partly. just as St. Paul the Apostle who ascended
to the third heaven but he said that he, ".. heard inexpressible
words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter" (2 Cor. 12:4).
St. John the Beloved also saw an open door in heaven and
saw the throne of God but he described the revelation just in
symbols which did not give the full real picture...
Sometimes I ask myself, 'Is it a kind of pride that I try to know
You though I know not my own self and I ignore many human
and material matters? Since I do not know my real self, how
can I know the Creator of this self?
I still do not know Your heavens and Your angels, how can I
know Your Godhead then?
I only know what You reveal to us.. and You only reveal
what we can endure. If You do reveal to us more, our human
nature will be struck with astonishment, and our minds will be
unable to understand. No terms will be sufficient to express
what is revealed and we have to confess that whatever we see
cannot be put into words..
In my attempt to know You, I try to go beyond books with
whatever deep knowledge they contain, and even beyond
mental knowledge. This allows the spirit-being released-to have
a wider scope which surpasses the limits of the mind...
However, the human spirit is limited.. in its capacities, in its
talents and in its knowledge.. Besides, it suffers much due to the
thickness of the human material body..
O Lord, how would I know You then in the eternal kingdom!
"Face to face" as St. Paul says! I stand bewildered before these
words.
In Your kingdom, in spite of the glorious resurrection and
the spiritual enlightened bodies, we will certainly remain as we
are - limited human beings.
There, You will reveal to us something more about Your
Godhead which we know not while we are in this present
world, and so we shall rejoice and become happy. Then, You
will reveal to us more and more, gradually, as far as we can
endure. Perhaps if You reveal much more, our souls would cry
out-in deep love- 'that is enough `You will make our hearts and
souls greater and wider so as they can take more of You into
them... While You remain, O Lord, as You are... unlimited... we
remain as we are, limited and knowing little about You .
Along the times which have no end in eternity, we shall
enjoy knowing You, we shall taste and see how good You are.
We shall know more about You every now and then and so we
shall be nourished with this pleasant satisfying knowledge but
never shall we comprehend You.
Then, when shall we know You the true knowledge?
Our Lord Jesus Christ says, "And this is eternal life, that
they may know You, the only true God... " (John. 17:3).
Thus, to know You is not a matter which needs years and
days but it will take the whole eternal life which has no end.
If this is the case concerning eternity, what can we say about
our ignorance while we are on earth? Do we really have any
knowledge ?
So, I entreat You, Great Creator, to forgive me because I
talk to people about virtue more than I tell them about You..
This is due to two reasons:
Godhead which we know not while we are in this present
world, and so we shall rejoice and become happy. Then, You
will reveal to us more and more, gradually, as far as we can
endure. Perhaps if You reveal much more, our souls would cry
out-in deep love- 'that is enough `You will make our hearts and
souls greater and wider so as they can take more of You into
them... While You remain, O Lord, as You are... unlimited... we
remain as we are, limited and knowing little about You .
Along the times which have no end in eternity, we shall
enjoy knowing You, we shall taste and see how good You are.
We shall know more about You every now and then and so we
shall be nourished with this pleasant satisfying knowledge but
never shall we comprehend You.
Then, when shall we know You the true knowledge?
Our Lord Jesus Christ says, "And this is eternal life, that
they may know You, the only true God... " (John. 17:3).
Thus, to know You is not a matter which needs years and
days but it will take the whole eternal life which has no end.
If this is the case concerning eternity, what can we say about
our ignorance while we are on earth? Do we really have any
knowledge ?
So, I entreat You, Great Creator, to forgive me because I
talk to people about virtue more than I tell them about You..
This is due to two reasons:
- The first is that I haven't the knowledge or capacity - all
that I know is that I pray to You in order to reveal to me some-
thing about You. Whatever You reveal to me I disclose to
people so that they may taste the kingdom of Heavens while
being on earth.
- The second reason is that when I talk to them about
virtue, I want them to prepare their hearts to know You.. I want
them to raise incense every day and night on the altar of their
hearts to be ready for the Holy Offering.
We cannot know by ourselves.. but we want-through Your
grace- to prepare ourselves to know You.. This knowledge
comes from You.. through what You reveal to us, not through
any mental or even spiritual effort on our behalf. Any striving
of our minds and souls, though necessary, is just a kind of
prayer or supplication. Such striving is a means through which
the cloud may fill the House, and the fire burn in the bush and
so God may reveal Himself and every heart would give worship
in awe and sing thankfully saying `You gave me the gift of
knowing You'
This divine knowledge is the precious pearl which made the
merchant sell all that he had to buy it.
Such things which the merchant sold represent the various
human branches of knowledge which take up all our time and
give us no chance to know You. They hinder us from sitting at
Your feet with Mary (the sister of Martha and Lazarus) to
receive the living water which You pour in our hearts and which
whoever drinks of, will never thirst.
I wish that we would seek such knowledge, with all ourthat I know is that I pray to You in order to reveal to me some-
thing about You. Whatever You reveal to me I disclose to
people so that they may taste the kingdom of Heavens while
being on earth.
- The second reason is that when I talk to them about
virtue, I want them to prepare their hearts to know You.. I want
them to raise incense every day and night on the altar of their
hearts to be ready for the Holy Offering.
We cannot know by ourselves.. but we want-through Your
grace- to prepare ourselves to know You.. This knowledge
comes from You.. through what You reveal to us, not through
any mental or even spiritual effort on our behalf. Any striving
of our minds and souls, though necessary, is just a kind of
prayer or supplication. Such striving is a means through which
the cloud may fill the House, and the fire burn in the bush and
so God may reveal Himself and every heart would give worship
in awe and sing thankfully saying `You gave me the gift of
knowing You'
This divine knowledge is the precious pearl which made the
merchant sell all that he had to buy it.
Such things which the merchant sold represent the various
human branches of knowledge which take up all our time and
give us no chance to know You. They hinder us from sitting at
Your feet with Mary (the sister of Martha and Lazarus) to
receive the living water which You pour in our hearts and which
whoever drinks of, will never thirst.
hearts. Then we shall find it within us, deep in our hearts,
where You dwell and where Your holy temple lies that which
You consecrated with the Holy Chrism .
